Don't Be a Hater (or Why do you hate The Hunger Games?)

During the past ten years, at any given point in time there was "The Big Teen Novel". The Big Teen Novel was a particular work that most teens were reading, talking about, and obsessing over. Today that novel is The Hunger Games. Yesterday it was Twilight, and Harry Potter before that. With the arrival of every Big Teen Novel, there also appears The Haters of The Big Teen Novel. They arise from darkness like a band of flesh-eating zombies, wildly slashing at The Big Teen Novel and all of its loyal minions. Their contorted faces emit condescending moans that sound something like "must ... hate ... twilight!" or "die ... conformist ... morons!" The loyal minions respond with baffled astonishment, tearfully shouting, "how can you hate that which i find to be awesome beyond belief?"

This cycle repeats every few years or so, much to the amusement of more neutral bystanders. We watch with a self-satisfied shake of our heads as the haters and minions duel to the death - or until the next Big Teen Novel appears, whichever comes first.

So can I just say one thing? Just one little thing? Here, come a little closer, because I don't wish to shout. Are you listening now? Good.

JUST STOP IT!

For you loyal minions, you need to understand something about the haters. Most of them haven't even read your awesome novel, so any professions of hatred are not really intended for the story. What they really hate is conformity. They see you as a mindless addict to some prophet of literature who fills your mind with numbing words, rendering you blind and stupid. The sad news is that occasionally the haters are right. But mostly they are bitter because nobody worships their brilliance, and so demonstrate intellect by bashing you of the lower order brain. But here is the good news: popularity does not equal stupidity. Breathing is very popular and quite highly regarded. That does not make it a bad behavior exercised only by those who aren't independent enough to stop breathing. So forgive the haters, for they are slaves to something far more damaging than a book.

For you that hate: go find another game to play. Don't exercise your intellectual independence by squashing the literary preferences of others. Please find another outlet for your intellectual superiority. Otherwise, the rest of us will be forced to round up all of you, put you in a cage, and let you fight to the death. Now that would make for an interesting novel.

Ten Books on a Desert Island (Or, "What Are Your Top 10 Teen Novels?")

Inspired by a question from a reader, I decided to consider the following scenario: If fate dropped me on a deserted island with enough gear to survive, no hope of immediate rescue, and ten young adult books, which books would I want most? To qualify for my list, each book would need to be suitably complex and compelling that I would want to read them again and again. I might be here for awhile.

Wait - is that a ship on the horizon? Dang. Just a fat albatross.

An initial pass produced a list of forty. That was the easy part. So I started chopping. I chopped some limbs for a shelter, and leaves for catching rainwater. I also chopped my list to twenty-five.

Look - is that a naval buoy? Nope. Just a Wilson volleyball. How'd that get here?

The second pass required whittling. So I began whittling. I whittled a totem for the top of my shelter, and a long stick for spearing fish in the shallows. I also whittled my book list to seventeen. Seventeen. I just couldn't slice any further. And it is now too late to change the post to "Seventeen Books on a Desert Island". Oh, well - you try it, and see what list you come up with. Leave a comment!

Here is my list, in no particular order:

- Kindred by Octavia E. Butler
- The City and the Stars by Arthur C. Clarke
- Say Goodnight, Gracie by Julie Deaver
- Jellicoe Road by Melina Marchetta
- To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
- The Witch of Blackbird Pond by Elizabeth George Speare
- Harry Potter, Volume 1 by J.K. Rowling
- Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card
- And Then There Were None by Agatha Christie
- The Forgotten Soldier by Guy Sajer
- Sabriel by Garth Nix
- The Book Thief by Markus Zusak
- Alive by Piers Paul Read
- The Road by Cormac McCarthy
- Fight Club by Chuck Palahniuk
- The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold
- The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman